To Change Behaviors You Must Notice them First
Excerpt: 302080-01
This article focuses on questions that will help you notice what you are doing. The questions will make you aware of what is occurring. The piece encourages you to ponder the questions, apply them to your current situation, and inspect the behavior. Once you have accomplished that task, write about what you learned. Awareness is the first step toward changing the conduct or selecting a new one. Behavior change will be covered in another article.
Background
We go about our lives daily with little thought about what is occurring around us and within us. This happens each day until we begin to notice things. We all know how we feel because the feelings present themselves uniquely. We get upset because a driver cuts us off, so we get angry and may swear or mutter something under our breath. Or we become excited about something that brings us joy.
However, regardless of the feeling, do we know what behaviors are operating within us? Most of us pay little attention to the behavior: we keep doing what we are doing. But, if you want to know what’s happening and are curious about changing a behavior, you must recognize it first.
Noticing
Analogy of various ideas passing through our mind endlessly…
We usually see something with our eyes when we think about noticing something. We observe the world around us and understand the reality that we live in. And its good to know that we do this without thinking. What if you could notice more closely with both your eyes and your mind? The question you are about to read will help you combine seeing with thinking. In addition, we want you to understand your behavior as part of this exploratory journey.
We want you to consider and ponder what behaviors are occurring, and we suggest beginning this practice with the following questions:
Notice when you need to catch up on the current task you neglected,
Notice when you make a promise and you fail to keep your promise,
Notice when you become reluctant to do the assigned task,
Notice when you use language that degrades yourself, swear, or degrades others,
Notice when you gossip or listen to gossip,
Notice when you feel hungry, angry, lonely, tired,
Notice when you feel entitled to do something different than the assigned or selected task,
Notice when you feel overwhelmed and frustrated,
Notice when you think you have completed something done well,
Notice when you have a win and celebrate.
You have begun the process of figuring out the puzzle…
We suggest that you take a break from this analysis process and start thinking about putting your awareness down on paper.
We highly recommend you use a pen and paper (i.e., new technologies allow you to record with your handwriting directly into a computer) to accomplish this task because what you write is imprinted in your brain.
Surprising enough words manifest.
Record Your Noticing
Now that you have begun questioning what is occurring, begin recording what you have learned about your behaviors. When recording your observations think about the what, why, when, how and who is behind the behavior.
Can you name the behavior: what it is called?
Has the behavior been taken from someone other than yourself?
Why do you think you do this?
Under what circumstances does this behavior happen, and how often?
How does the situation warrant this behavior?
Is it possible to change the behavior or replace it with another one?
What are you gaining or losing by continuing this behavior?
Have you or anyone else experienced harm?
Have you or anyone else experienced victory or triumph?
What is the benefit and cost in financial terms for this behavior?
How long will it take to change this behavior or substitute another more effective one?
What Have You Learned?
This practice is a multi-phased approach toward learning about you: the what, how, why, when and where did you gain these behaviors. To become effective at this practice, you will need to continue asking and answering the questions posed. The purpose in doing this is about learning more about you.
Special Progress Note:
This blog was in its developmental stage. We want to know if it works and is believable and we invite your feedback. Our release team has approved it for publication. This article has meet at least an 8.5 on the CAM Awareness Scale and has been opened for comments.
